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Another day, another nostalgia induced reunion. This time it’s the ‘Friends’ franchise that’s jumping on the band wagon and heading for the big screen with Friends the movie. It can’t be a cynical move to cash in on the outstanding success of SATC at the box office so we can only assume that after earning $1m an episode, the cash and work has dried up for Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler and Ross.

There’s been talk of a making a film since the show ended in 2004 with not  a lot of action but now it’s all systems go and the gang is set to start work on the motion picture within the next 18 months – and for a few of …

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After what seems like a week long search it’s finally been revealed  that Cheryl Tweedy Cole is set to replace Sharon Osbourne as the new X-factor judge / mentor / panto dame. The move comes after the Queen of Darkness, and most self important person on TV, threw her rattle out of the pram and quit the show after failing to secure a gazzilion pound pay rise for doing whatever she was already being overpaid for.

Chezza will join ‘judges ‘;  leprechaun Louis Walsh, the self parody that is Simon Cowell and Dannii Minogue, the not very talented but nonetheless fit sister of Kylie. The geordie Girls Aloud hottie will bag a not to be sniffed at £800,000 in the process, …

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Roll up, roll up the summer circus is in town - the Big Brother freak show has arrived. In a manner that hasn’t been seen since Queen Victoria ruled our Fair Isle and half of the known world the British public has been invited to chuck rotten fruit and veg at society’s freaks. Cue shouty annoying talentless ringmaster Big Mama Davina McCall who is once again subjecting British eardrums to public health worrying decibel levels.

So where shall we start? We’ll move past the cage containing the bearded lady and meander past the Siamese twins for now, and just ignore the bloke making strange noises under the sack.

Right here we are in the Big Brother big top. Here’s our first exhibit …

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Now that Mel B has had enough of TV tripe Dancing with the Stars or whatever crap she was fannying around to, she’s decided to re-focus her attempts at a singing career. We’re not being funny but when will ex Spice Girls realise that they are a vocally talentless lot? It’s bad enough Victoria Beckham went on for so long polishing a turd but Mel B get a grip! You’re no good - in fact she’d be better off entering the Big Brother 9 (or Big Bother - as we lovingly refer to it in the Bodog office!)

But the motor mouth thinks that she may have found the secret weapon in serial yo-yo dieter Janet Jackson who she hopes will …

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This side of the pond we couldn’t really give a toss whether Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are banging each other never mind racing across the polls! (Actually strike that it would be great if a Hills and Barack sex tape emerged from the annals!) By heck the closest we come to politics is who’ll make the tea in the office!

Besides isn’t all politics about making the right noises and then when it comes down to doing the deed we see a big bad floppy and the mother of all anti-climaxes? Nay not always pipes up one of our office monkeys! So in the interest of democracy we thought we’d take a look at what the one they call Obama …

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 As Jordan aka Katie Price celebrates her 30th birthday today. Believe it or not she’s now been showing us her breasts, in varying sizes, for 12 years now and what better way to mark the day then reveal your Olympic dreams.

OK it’s not the shot putt, that would be silly and it’s not some bizarre exhibition sport involving breasts either, god knows what they’ll be looking like in 2012 anyway.  No, Jordan has dreams of ‘competing’ in one sport that has Beat scratching its head every four years, Dressage.

Now we’re not knocking Dressage per se but let’s face it, it is a bit strange. This is what British Dressage Ltd says about it.

"Some people are intimidated by dressage, perceiving it …

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If there’s a tone she’ll certainly lower it, which is exactly what Lily Allen managed to do at this years Cannes Film Festival.  Cannes is a classy place historically where the talented beautiful people showcase their work and flog films, until Miss Allen daughter of Keith rocked up that is….

It’s one thing falling out of Mahiki but Lily’s caning hasn’t gone down too well in the Cote d’Azur. Her first fall from grace saw her cavorting topless in the posh French resort of Cap D’Antibes. She recently blamed the stress from her disastrous TV show for her weight gain but this didn’t deter her from letting it all hang out in the South of France. The singer said; “I heard …

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Those Spice Girls are really something else, er actually they’re not we just can’t think of anything nice to say about them. So it’s a good job that the mouthiest of all the Spices, Scary Mel B has something to say. She’s been bigging herself up yet again, this time it’s all about her sexploits.

No sooner has she got her sprogg issues with Eddie Murphy out of the way, grabbed her hands on her new feller Stefan Belafonte, done the whole Dancing With Stars stuff (see ABC pic) and bagged herself a lingerie contract (Ultimo - if your that bothered!), that big gob (literally - if we believe the hype) reckons she’s a dynamo in bed.

She said: “If there …

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The F Word, starring the chef with the lived in face, is on its way back.  We know this for two reasons. Number one reason is the F Word trailer on the tellybox last night.   A bit of a giveaway we must admit but we did rather enjoy the Richard the Great / Aragorn/ King Theoden pastiche that Channel 4 has knocked up to publicise the televisual event of next week.

Number two reason is opening every single bloody newspaper today to see Gordon Ramsey’s mug staring out at us.  We like shouty Gordon but did spend too much time ironing the newspapers to get the creases out only to realise they were Gordon’s facial lines / gorges / valleys whatever …

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ITV what can you do with them eh?  If it’s not rigging phone votes, producing crap like Britain’s Got Talent, rigging phone votes, fleecing viewers of cash in rigged phone votes it’s now revealed that it er, rigged a phone vote.

This time though it’s not ITV’s fault, no it’s alien seeking porker Robbie Williams’ , well kind of.  It appears that in 2005 some wise soul at the channel thought that it might be a nice idea to give Ant and Dec the People Choice award at that year’s Comedy Awards.

Robbie was still a bit of a draw back in 2005 and would only appear at the show if he could present an award to his Geordie japester mates.  So …

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