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It’s been a few weeks since Beat dipped its toes into the drug addled, diseased world of our favourite pipe cleaner. At the weekend we saw Amy Winehouse back on stage and from what we can make out back allegedly on just about everything she was on before. 

Looking like she’d been dipped in a vat of St Tropez and then spray painted with a can of Rust Orange car paint from Halfords she gave a shambolic Glasters performance before being flown back by helicopter to hospital. She also managed to elbow a fan in the face, and then go back and punch him for either touching her ‘pushed up to within an inch of her chin’ boobs or daring …

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No readers, Madge and Guy haven’t been spotted at Wimbledon, or on the public tennis courts of Bayswater dusting off their rackets for the obligatory two weeks of summer tennis, no they are getting divorced.

Let’s face it, divorce has been on the cards pretty much from the minute the ink was dry on their marriage license, but now it seems the end is finally nigh for Madge and Guy ‘s seven year marriage as the show biz pair head to the divorce courts.  Talk about itches, but let’s be frank and fair, seven years in celebland is pretty much ruby anniversary equivalent in real life world where Beat lives.

Rumours of the marriage being on the rocks have refused to go …

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Cursing, swearing, potty-mouth behaviour - here at Bodog Beat we love a bit of it! Nothing turns us on more than a fit bird doing her impression of a truck driver, nay a navvy of yesteryear (minus the tashe and mutton-schops)! We Brits are great at most things but when it comes to the way of the expletive Britannia rules and our stars are coming up trumps.

Take Sienna Miller who can’t have a normal conversation without ‘effing and blinding.’ But then again we don’t mind a bit of posh plummy bird dropping a few ‘buggers’ and ‘bollocks’ here and there!

What we like about Sienna is that she just loses herself in interviews and forgets that the world at large is …

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Aye the lasses can’t seem to get enough of a bad lad, look at Natalie Imbruglia and her new love ex-con American nightclub boss Chris Paciello, who spent seven years behind bars after saying ‘ I do’ to charges of murder and armed robbery in 1993. But the Aussie stunner doesn’t seem to be bothered in the least by his past and said:

"We go out when I’m in LA. He’s sweet and funny, but I don’t want to say any more than that."

It’s probably the total u-turn from ex hubby of five years, Daniel Johns. Never mind Nat maybe you could get new bloke Chris to send a horse’s head over to him if he gets shirty!

But turning a …

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After what seems like a week long search it’s finally been revealed  that Cheryl Tweedy Cole is set to replace Sharon Osbourne as the new X-factor judge / mentor / panto dame. The move comes after the Queen of Darkness, and most self important person on TV, threw her rattle out of the pram and quit the show after failing to secure a gazzilion pound pay rise for doing whatever she was already being overpaid for.

Chezza will join ‘judges ‘;  leprechaun Louis Walsh, the self parody that is Simon Cowell and Dannii Minogue, the not very talented but nonetheless fit sister of Kylie. The geordie Girls Aloud hottie will bag a not to be sniffed at £800,000 in the process, …

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Ah celebrities and babies, they’re popping up everywhere, like mushrooms after a day’s rain.

But what can we say about those virile Tinseltown fungi spermatozoans huh? They’re going great guns, what with Ashlee Simpson up stick and the longest gestation on the planet since the elephant courtesy of Brangelina.

But the real currency has to be the baby pic and the trade that is pimping out your kids before they can even talk. Oh yes the domain that was seriously sent stratospheric because of J-Lo and her twins (no, not butt cheek one and butt cheek two).

But as fascinating as this is we did actually have a point to make. What happens to the ugly ones? Apart from nil point …

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"Heads, shoulders, knees and toes… La la la…Heads, shoulders, knees and toes."

Ah there’s nothing like a good old fashioned sing song, ask Amy Winehouse she should know. Shit must be hitting the fan in truck loads now as the desperate crooner was caught on cam by cheating lowlife scum-bag hubby Blake Fielder-Civil when footage from their 2007 honeymoon bender came to light.

An innocent sing song to the kids nursery rhyme turned into something totally racist when potty-mouth Wino substituted words like "Blacks, Pakis, Gooks and Nips, Gooks and Nips! And deaf and dumb and blind and gay!"

She stretched her eyes into slits and pushed her breasts together - classy bird our Amy. But Amy is rapidly descending into Britney train wreck …

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As if the Osbournes couldn’t make a bit more cash! What with Sharon demanding more money all the time for her role as judge on X-Factor, now jittery hubby Ozzy seems to have learned a bit of business savvy from his missus. But we better be careful what we say here now because the bat-biting rocker might take us to the cleaners like he did the Daily Star newspaper.

But then again we’re not likely to say that Ozzy was responsible for turning the Brit Awards into “Ozzy’s Freak Show.” Ozzy promptly sued and has won "substantial" damages. 59 year-old Oz and wifey Shazza were hosting the awards in characteristic style back in February. But the tabloid claimed that the …

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Now that Mel B has had enough of TV tripe Dancing with the Stars or whatever crap she was fannying around to, she’s decided to re-focus her attempts at a singing career. We’re not being funny but when will ex Spice Girls realise that they are a vocally talentless lot? It’s bad enough Victoria Beckham went on for so long polishing a turd but Mel B get a grip! You’re no good - in fact she’d be better off entering the Big Brother 9 (or Big Bother - as we lovingly refer to it in the Bodog office!)

But the motor mouth thinks that she may have found the secret weapon in serial yo-yo dieter Janet Jackson who she hopes will …

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It’s been a long time coming but Wayne Rooney and his chavvy mates have kicked off his Stag as the wedding to Miss Asda aka Colleen McLoughlin gets ever closer.

We’re not sure what Fergie thinks of the first stop on the tour but we’re positive he’s not been invited. Wayne and chums arrived on clubbing playground Ibiza a couple of days ago to stay in a rather expensive villa near Ibiza Town.

Ibiza is a bit of a home from home for Bodog Beat and many a time we’ve stumbled out of a club in broad daylight after a few exotic cocktails like the Turbo Shandy (1 pint beer, 1 bottle Smirnoff Ice).  But despite having a bit of a reputation as …

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