That might be the only Test match he will ever play for England, but no matter: no-one will forget the name Darren Pattinson after the remarkable Second Test against South Africa.

With Ryan Sidebottom out injured, England needed a last-minute bowling replacement. Three of the men who blasted Australia apart to win the 2005 Ashes were fit, available and playing well; Steve Harmison, Matthew Hoggard, Simon Jones. England's selectors met and made their decision. They chose… none of the above, but Nottinghamshire's Darren Pattinson. Pattinson, a man hardly anyone had heard of. A man raised and developed in Australia. And a man who had only previously played 11 first-class matches. Not good for a 29-year-old. Even skipper Michael Vaughan commented that it was a 'confused' selection.

Pattinson didn't do very much in the match. Took a couple of wickets, but nowt else. It was a gamble, and it backfired. Don't expect to hear much of him again. It's not fair to lump all the blame in his direction – after all, put yourself in his shoes and imagine getting a late phone call and then walking into a dressing room full of strangers – but he cannot play again if England have any intention of turning the Test series around.

Pick Harmison. Pick Jones. Pick Hoggard. Pick Tremlett. Just don't pick… well, you get the idea.

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