Brucie Will Play His Cards Right For Sir Alex

What´s Brucie´s bonus if his Wigan players take a well timed cigarette break to let Cristiano Ronaldo and company sneak in and help themselves to the crown jewels on Sunday?
But do it subtly lads, FFS don´t make it too obvious, or those Chelsea boys will kick up a right stink. Wigan´s not far from Manchester. The right result at the JJB will mean Steve Bruce can avoid being run off the M6 by United supporting White Van Men for the rest of his days.
Cut the man with the wonkiest nose in football in half and he´d bleed red and white. The rugged ex-old Trafford skipper helped United to eight items of silverware in his spell at the club - make that nine by the time the Antiques Roadshow starts on Sunday.
If the game is still level with 5 minutes to go, Bruce will roar onto the pitch and score the winning goal himself, it is also rumoured that Emile Heskey is playing goal for the Latics.
Michael Ballack has come out this morning to say that the United players "face the longest week of their lives". Ha. Schoolboy error Michael, the United result is in the bag don´t worry about that, stick to modelling your hairstyle on David Hasselhoff.
The only issue for the United hierarchy this week is what route to take the open top title celebration bus through Moss Side on.
Actually no need to worry. Just ask the grinning bloke with the bent nose in a curly wig and false moustache who will be driving it.
See how it all turns out and place some bets while you're at it! Check out Bodog's Premier League odds.






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