Beckham's Bad Show
Luckily I had my two-year-old son´s plastic golf set to distract me while England went through the motions of their mind numbing international friendly against the kermit cannibals.
By the half hour mark as most England fans had slipped into a coma I had reached Amen Corner at Augusta in a majestic 36 strokes, two shots behind Tiger.
And then I glanced back at the TV to see a "past it" David Beckham toiling away in his 100th England benefit. Infact, that´s all the game in Stade France was, a Beckham benefit.
The players certainly did nothing whatsoever to enhance their questionable international reputations - with the exception of Canadian ringer Owen Hargreaves perhaps. If England are to have any kind of future the departure of Beckham on the hour mark has to be his last act.
I managed to hit him on the back of the head with a sweetly timed five iron as he left the pitch. The last time I hit one that well I was taking aim at Mark Lawrenson.
Fabio Capello has inherited a group of players tainted by failure and a now declining Beckham is a huge symbol of that. Hopefully Dr Capello will produce a scalpel and perform major surgery on an England side that couldn´t muster a shot to test the French keeper. Those fools at the FA should have made me England manager I grimaced wistfully to myself as I made a par saving 10 foot putt.
I then proceeded to eagle Augusta´s two par 5s on the back nine. A tearful and distressed Tiger slipped on my Green Jacket in the log cabin and I went to bed a very happy man.
To watch some proper football and the chance to make some real cash check out Bodog's Premier League odds.
Submit Your Comment