Paris vs Posh – Let Retail Battle Commence
Yesterday saw two of the world's biggest media whores / non entities go head to head in London town to fight it out for their own little slice of retail heaven. In the red corner Mrs David Beckham launched her overpriced jeans at Russia's favourite department store and in the blue corner Paris Hilton launched her new perfume 'Can Can' at Selfridges. "I can can earn my own money and don't need that multi-billion Hilton inheritance", she might have said.
A not at all desperate to get all the headlines Posh cunningly moved her launch forward a few hours to ensure it clashed with Paris, a tactic that surprisingly paid off. A rather bemused Paris had her nose well and truly put out of joint after arriving at the Dorchester to find not a single pap in sight. Instead they'd hot-footed it to Harrods, to check out the skinny one with her £340 jeans. Posh 1, Paris 0.
However, Ms Hilton certainly came up trumps and beat the wannabe fashionista in the popularity stakes. The self obsessed one was greeted by hundreds of adoring fans at Selfridges, many of whom had camped out overnight to catch a glimpse of the heiress. Posh 1, Paris 1. ACME rent-a-mob refused to comment on rumours that they might have been ever so slightly planted.
Over at Al Fayed's Knightsbridge tat emporium it was only the paps that turned out in force for the Posh appearance. Which might explain the poor sales figures; we can't see many of the paps squeezing into a pair of skinny DVB jeans and we're not sure they'd be the ideal trousers for hiding in trees and bushes.
Being a miserable cow can't help your sales either, the self confessed moody one said; "When I see pictures I do sometimes think, 'You miserable cow'. I think it's just the way my face falls." Or perhaps it's just that you're a miserable cow Vicky love? We're positive sales would have picked up though with DVB jeans being snapped up by Oligarch playthings as we speak.
So at the end of the day it was a closely fought fight but despite the pap turn-out we reckon Paris just pips Posh by a mere whisker. Although, we reckon the' fashion giant' won't take this defeat lying down and will be planning a return battle as we speak.
Coming soon to a Primark near you….
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