Not So Top Shop For Kate Moss
Firstly she's banned from singing on stage with her new obligatory rock star bloke Jamie Hince's band. Thank the lord the other members of The Kills put their foot down fearing a loss of credibility and mentions of the Doherty days, not that he had any credibility but please spare us of another Moss 'performance'. Stick to what you know Katie, i.e. necking champagne, allegedly consuming copious amounts of drugs and hanging out with the band. There's no shame in being a groupie even at the ripe old age of 32. Honest.
She may still be in the Top Ten of caners and uber groupie extraordinaire but Katie is no longer queen of the UK fashion scene. Many have tried and failed but her crown has finally been stolen by the new kid on the fashion block, bleached blond northern bird with the funny name Agyness Deyn. Actually Agnes isn't that funny a name but you catch our drift anyway it sounds a bit fancier than Laura Hollins!
Tatler recently named elfin Agy best dressed, describing her as "…fash-fabulous…rock" demoting Miss Moss to 2nd place who is more Patsy from Ab Fab than 'Fash-fab' these days.
It seems that boho chic is soooo five minutes ago and the 'I've been on a five day bender' look is what it says on the tin - tired. Agy also has the advantage that she is fresh faced (for now) and hasn't got a daughter sat at home calling the nanny Mum.
The masses are also bored of brand Moss. The only thing to turn up to the launch of her new Top Shop range in Oxford Street this morning was a tumbleweed and of course Sienna Miller who has yet to read the latest issue of Tatler and still thinks Kate is the one to watch / copy (delete as applicable). A complete contrast to last year's launch where hundreds of Moss wannabes queued outside for hours to get their hands on garments designed / ripped off from other designers (delete as applicable) by Kate.
Time to retire perhaps? No one likes to see a partied out, haggard model decline into the world of has-beens; clinging on to their looks and celebrity by their grubby Marlboro Light stained fingers. Maybe it's time to bow out gracefully Kate darling? Although the Croydon model has a Lazarus like ability to rise from the dead so its probably not quite the right time to write her off.
And all this in the same week that Kate has decided that she doesn't like her £8 million mansion anymore because it's overlooked by a council estate. We're off now to stem the flow in our bleeding heart…
Now you too can make like a supermodel and not get out of bed for anything less than a few grand. The truth is out, they live inside Bodog's Celebrity Specials - pop in and say hello!
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