Gordon Shouts At Just About Everybody
The F Word, starring the chef with the lived in face, is on its way back. We know this for two reasons. Number one reason is the F Word trailer on the tellybox last night. A bit of a giveaway we must admit but we did rather enjoy the Richard the Great / Aragorn/ King Theoden pastiche that Channel 4 has knocked up to publicise the televisual event of next week.
Number two reason is opening every single bloody newspaper today to see Gordon Ramsey's mug staring out at us. We like shouty Gordon but did spend too much time ironing the newspapers to get the creases out only to realise they were Gordon's facial lines / gorges / valleys whatever you want to call them.
So how is Gordon promoting the return of the F Word? Well in a lovely little segue into the new promo on Channel 4 he's going to war with everybody.
First in the big G's sights is the iconic but frankly barking Delia Smith. The woman that taught a nation to boil an egg and buy Malden Sea Salt looked as if she'd been on more sauce than Keith Floyd when her last series aired. The use of pre-packaged food and frozen delights from Kerry Katona's freezer made the recipes from Nigella Express look like complicated micro gastronomy. And it hasn't escaped Gordon.
Speaking to the BBC, Ramsay said Smith's failure to use fresh food was "an insult". "I would expect students struggling on £15 a week to survive eating from a can but the nation's favourite, all-time icon reducing us down to using frozen, canned food. It's an insult," he remarked. Quite so Delia's had one barrel, who next Gordon?
Supermarkets and restaurants are next on the agenda. Us Brits have become so used to eating strawberries in December he wants the out of season fruit and veg banned from restaurants and supermarkets. He shouted into a microphone somewhere: "Fruit and veg should be seasonal. Chefs should be fined if they don't have ingredients in season on the menu.
"I don't want to see asparagus in December or Kenyan strawberries in March. I want to see it home-grown. It's a chef's job to ensure everything is locally sourced and, more importantly, when we haven't got it, take it off the menu. There should be stringent laws to make sure produce is only used in season."
Quite, so before you tuck into that char-grilled asparagus with a squirt of lemon and shavings of parmesan and punnet of out of season raspberries from Fiji watch yer back because Gordon is watching.
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