Amy Turns The Other Cheek!
Some of us are born on the edge and some of us get put there without choice. And it's not often that we volunteer that we go to the frontline. Amy Winehouse we all know has a bit of a thing for self harm and other dodgy shenanigans but her latest antic might mean she has a career as a stuntwoman or even a circus act (sorry been there, done that). Maybe she could be a hostess at an S&M convention who knows.
You may wonder what is prompting this particular rant. Oh nothing we just wondered what it felt like to put fags out on our faces, that's all. Nothing major - just curious! Amy was having a nice civilised smoke in a London restaurant but objected to being told to put it out. After being told three times and failing to find an ashtray used the nearest receptacle - her sunken cheek (which we admit could be mistaken for an ashtray).
A source said: "She hardly flinched because she was so high. The whole place was open-mouthed in horror. She was so out of it that she didn't feel the pain - everyone else looked completely stunned. The waitress covered her mouth in shock and just walked off to tell the manager. It was a shocking sight."
We reckon that Amy will quit the music industry to star in a 'Puppetry of the Penis' style stage show with Penn and Teller. Anyhow once the doped-up singer realised what she had done she tried to cover her cheek up only to cause an infection. Her people promptly suggested was the Impetigo that we've been hearing so much about. Ah we'll never know what came first but facial fag-stubbing is infinitely more creative than contagious scab-catching hey Amy?
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