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This week, we open the satchel of poker tips and pull out the exercise book that deals with M-ratio.

It a term invented by professional backgammon player Paul Magriel who, when he’s not tumbling dice, also finds time to sit down at the occasional poker game and pen a few books.

Although the term and theory are his babies, as is often the case with these definitions, the basic principles were already applied by advanced players such as Doyle Brunson.

The M-ratio is a simple measurement of chip stack when factored against the price of playing each round.

M is equal to the number of laps a player can survive, making only compulsory bets, before his chip run out.

It is deduced by the following …

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At least that’s one endless transfer saga we can put to bed for now. Gareth Barry is definitely staying at Aston Villa, after Liverpool failed to meet Villa’s strictly-imposed deadline for submitting a decent offer. “5pm Wednesday and not a minute later”, said Villa rather sternly, and as Liverpool couldn’t get their cash – or their act – together in time, that was said to be that.

An ecstatic Villa quickly made a statement, stuck it on the club website, and proclaimed Barry to be staying at the club.

All over then? Well, it may not be so simple. For starters, according to some reports Liverpool were ready to do business – at 5.15pm. And if the Reds really do have …

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August is a lazy month. The kids are off school, a lot of Europe’s governments are in recess and it is silly season for the newspapers. Some may argue it is the perfect time to play poker - it can be relaxing, it can take your mind off work and it can be a way of funding trips to the slide park.

However, irritating members of the non-poker playing community tend to become a little prickly at the suggestion that Hold ‘em is a valid form of vacation. They see holidays as a time to expand horizons, explore the great outdoors and generally fill your time with activities that people from TV/adjacent tents/Hell have told them are meaningful.

Therefore, throughout …

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Sienna Miller’s new man, the Brothers and Sisters star, heir to billionaire fortune and generally married bloke Balthazar Getty has realised the grass isn’t always greener and kicked her into touch in a bid to win his missus back. Didn’t see that one coming did we eh?

Just to bring you up to speed – back in May Sienna decided she was due for an upgrade and dumped Primrose Hill’s resident tramp and sometime actor Rhys Ifans.   Rumours immediately surfaced of an affair between Miller and ex beau Matthew Rhys but this was simply a smoke screen – or maybe it was an interim project, who knows?

However it was in fact his mate Balthazar Getty who she was making the beast …

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Michael McCool, winner of the main event of the July Festival of Poker at the Broadway Casino, Birmingham, UK, has, in the past, offered some interesting comments to the press.

Here he is on his ambition:

‘I’m naturally gifted with my mouth so if I continue to win whilst living a simple life in the country with my dogs, I will be very happy.’

Although some may argue that sections of that are a tad disconnected, the first part probably explains why his favourite celebrity is Gordon Ramsey.

Still, if he continues to haul in poker cash cows such as Saturday’s £20,250, it won’t be too long until he can act as lord of the manor and pursue his favourite hobbies of greyhound …

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Shane Sigsbee, recent graduate of Notre Dame University, was clearly not overwhelmed by his recent triumph on the Heartland Poker Tour.

Interviewed after the $2,500, televised tournament, he said, ‘This feels pretty good. Now it is off to the golf course.’

He was competing in a US Amateur qualifier in Indiana where he had his daddy as a caddy

He persevered at the Majestic Star Casino after one of the shortest final tables in HPT history. When the 42nd hand was dealt, he and Jason DeWitt flopped top pair but Sigsbee had a better kicker.

The twenty-three year old options trader had the burden of accepting $206,273 before he was allowed to put on his polo shirt and plus fours.

In another …

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Last week Beat UK was summonsed to a small, sweaty darkened room with several other hacks from top tier publications for what can only be described as an auction.

Our bid limit was set, and to be fair if it was a car boot sale we’d have been laughing.  This was the auction for Brangelina’s baby pics though and the only thing laughable was the amount they finally went for.

Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline were born a couple of weeks ago and are already the highest earning babies on the planet with Hello! Magazine paying a reputed £7.5m for the pictures of a couple of shrivelled looking new born babies. 

A magazine insider said: "This is one of the publishing sensations of …

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When David Bentley ambitiously promises he´ll be the new Paul Gascoigne it´s hard to work out if he is referring to the great man´s feats on or off the football pitch.

Hehehe, he must have some ego that boy.

Bentley is an exciting and skilful player, and like most modern pros he usually says the right things at the right time, but he isn´t in the same league as the great entertainer Gazza. On the park or off it.

I´ve never heard a packed stadium silenced into a hush of excitement when you receive the ball Dave. How many domestic players in the past 25 years have managed that?

When you are able to convince every England fan that you could play central midfield …

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