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As promised yesterday, we now bring you a list of winners and losers* from the Rendez-vous a Paris. The grand fromage was Frenchman Roger Hairabedian, who proved he was no surrender-monkey by slicing through a smorgasbord of 138 opponents and landing the €10,000 main event. His slice of the booty was the non-too trifling sum of €419,250 so we suspect he’s now progressed to brandy and cigars.

Other notable winners from the 18 day Parisian jamboree include Tristan Clemenceau, Bachif Boumahdaf and Alexandre Viard. The first two scooped €40,170 and €22,370 respectively for their efforts in smaller Hold ‘em tournaments but Monsieur Viard proved his versatility by winning €12,370 in an event that combined Hold ‘em and Omaha.

It was an intriguing …

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 As Jordan aka Katie Price celebrates her 30th birthday today. Believe it or not she’s now been showing us her breasts, in varying sizes, for 12 years now and what better way to mark the day then reveal your Olympic dreams.

OK it’s not the shot putt, that would be silly and it’s not some bizarre exhibition sport involving breasts either, god knows what they’ll be looking like in 2012 anyway.  No, Jordan has dreams of ‘competing’ in one sport that has Beat scratching its head every four years, Dressage.

Now we’re not knocking Dressage per se but let’s face it, it is a bit strange. This is what British Dressage Ltd says about it.

"Some people are intimidated by dressage, perceiving it …

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Place your bets then – will Hull City or Bristol City grab the last remaining place in next season’s Premier League? Matches like this are always too close to call, but one thing’s for sure – whichever team wins the Football League Championship at Wembley on Saturday, they’ll start next season around £60million richer and probably red-hot favourites to finish bottom of the league.

That’s harsh, but fair. This time last year, Bristol City had just won promotion from League 1, while Hull had just escaped relegation from the Championship. No-one really expected them to challenge for promotion this time around, and yet here they are, punching above their weight, and 90 minutes away from the land of dreams, the mighty …

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Who wouldn’t want to be Lewis Hamilton, eh? He drives super-fast cars for a living, gets to hang out in the world’s most glamorous cities, and ain’t bad looking to boot. And now it turns out he’s absolutely loaded. Filthy rich. Of course, that’s no surprise – F1 drivers are hardly paupers, after all – but it turns out that Lewis is minted even more than we all thought.

It’s official now – Hamilton is Britain’s highest paid sportsman, leaving even Dave Beckham in his wake. Get this; not only does Hamilton earn £75 million over five years for razzing around tracks for McLaren, he’s supposedly on the verge of putting pen to paper on a £10 million sponsorship deal with …

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If there’s a tone she’ll certainly lower it, which is exactly what Lily Allen managed to do at this years Cannes Film Festival.  Cannes is a classy place historically where the talented beautiful people showcase their work and flog films, until Miss Allen daughter of Keith rocked up that is….

It’s one thing falling out of Mahiki but Lily’s caning hasn’t gone down too well in the Cote d’Azur. Her first fall from grace saw her cavorting topless in the posh French resort of Cap D’Antibes. She recently blamed the stress from her disastrous TV show for her weight gain but this didn’t deter her from letting it all hang out in the South of France. The singer said; “I heard …

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Penalty shoot-outs. Scintillating if you´re a United fan, sickening if you´re a Chelsea supporter. You had to think the Red Devils had blown it when Cristiano Ronaldo of all people duffed an easy penalty for Petr Cech to save. But no.

Blues skipper John Terry, who kept his side in the game with an heroic goal line block, will now be cast into a pit of despair for eternity for hitting his spot-kick against the post when he could have sealed it for his team.

Only the coldest hearts would feel no sympathy for him, most of his team mates, the supporters and manager Avram Grant. But don´t feel sorry for foolish Didier Drogba. If he hadn´t stupidly bitch-slapped Carlos Tevez …

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