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Has Fulham boss Roy Hodgson been on the methylated spirits? Has owner Mohammed Al Fayed switched the water supply in the changing rooms to Krug champagne? They are the only rational kinds of explanation for Hodgson´s comments that Jari Litmanen can play a big role in the club´s league survival.

For those who don´t know, ageing Jari qualifies for a heating allowance next Christmas and his last top flight goal came against Woolwich Arsenal in 1897. So why on earth does Hodgson believe the Finn´s creaking bones can fire the Cottagers to safety?

That bloke in the dinghy who fishes the footballs out of the Thames will have more of an influence on the team´s form …

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…. Rio Ferdinand!

Well, that’s a bit of a shocker because when Bodog woke up this morning, it was to headlines on the back pages of the papers that the armband was going to good ‘ol John Terry. For a terrible few hours, we thought England boss Fabio Capello had dropped a real clanger – because although Terry looks every inch the perfect captain, with his all-shouting, fist-clenching, playing-through-the-pain type bravado, he actually hasn’t been very good for a while now. For much of this season he’s looked a shadow of his former self.

In the 4-4 draw against Spurs last week he was culpable for at least two of Tottenham’s goals, beaten in the air by Jonathan Woodgate (now there …

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When a Manchester United player approaches the ref it´s merely to consult him, when any other player does it´s deemed as dissent.

That´s one interpretation of events at Old Trafford after Liverpool´s Javier Mascherano was given his marching orders for "dissent" towards match referee Steve Bennett.

Just prior to Mascherano´s sending off the Argentine was seen talking to Bennett in what appeared a calm and collected manner.

This wasn´t a player who had lost control of his senses. This wasn´t a man who had started ranting and raving at a referee - a sight we see hundreds of times a season with no sign of a caution.

This was man who was trying to get his point across, possibly not in the best English …

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The Easter holiday has made Neil Channing a very happy bunny as yesterday he won 2008 Irish Open at the Citywest Hotel, Dublin. For the English professional, it was his first major title and, as it was achieved at the expense of 666 rivals, he can be considered a true champion. (Although, given his career earnings exceed $1,200,000, he probably didn’t suffer too many dark nights of the soul or liberate too many branded bathrobes)

The Irish Open is Europe’s longest running No Limit Hold ‘Em tournament and last year’s competition attracted a record 706 card sharps. Maybe this year’s slightly reduced field is a sign that even poker players are wary of a global economic downturn and didn’t want to …

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