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Ungrateful b**** springs to mind here at Bodog! Well really, who one earth does she think she is huh? With her conniving whingeing ways? Oh we think we’re rather entitled to a moan because of all the celebs in all the world Heather Mills get’s our goat and doesn’t show it a fine old time - may we add!

Actually no we haven’t lost our heads, we at Bodog Towers are far too cool and collected to do such a thing. We are merely taking off old peg-leg McCartney the Queen of Ranting. Why? Because she’s been spouting off AGAIN. And after being awarded a big old wodge to the tune of £24.3 mill from ageing Beatle Sir Paul’s coffers. Instead …

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Say what you will about Sam Allardyce encouraging a style of football so boring that the grass growing under the players’ feet was more interesting to watch than the match going on above it, but he didn’t do too badly with Bolton.

With keeper Jussi Jaaskelainen out for the rest of the season, you have to say that it might be curtains for them now. They don’t have the quality or the consistency to produce results, and with a few exceptions, they look distinctly like a Championship side.

And Big Sam’s other team, Newcastle, are hardly setting the world alight either. Their demise is slightly more tragic, purely for the fact that they’ve got such bloody good players. Seriously, how can they …

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Well knock us down with a feather! The England cricket team have finally got something to celebrate. And we don’t mean false centuries and premature merry -making! There had been a glimmer of sunshine peeping through the clouds on day four of the second Test as New Zealand were reduced to 242-6, chasing 438. Meaning that England only needed 4 wickets to level their Test series.

So bums on tenterhooks then and bloody hell they finally pulled it off. Yes, England actually beat New Zealand by 126 runs to level the series, something that the critics thought would never happen, but after the Ryan Sidebottom – Alastair Cook combo caught Daniel Vettori at third slip and it was downhill …

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Saturday was a big night for poker as the EPT Polish Open reached its climax after a gruelling ten hour final table. German Michael Schulze, who had been chip leader at the start of the day, held off the heads up challenge of Portugal’s Ricardo Sousa and was presented with a surfboard-sized cheque for PLN 2,154,000 (approx €609,782) at the Hyatt Regency in Warsaw.

After a lengthy period of folding and stealing, the final hand arrived as a bit of a surprise. Imagine watching a battle of ‘rock, paper, scissors’ between two confused children and, for the first hundred minutes, they both opt for the rock. Then, a kind, but bored adult whispers in their ears. At first, the players have …

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Luis Figo for QPR eh? So say the footy rumourmongers. The Londoners are absolutely rolling in it with the backing of mega-wealthy Flavio Briatore, Bernie Ecclestone and steel magnate Lakshmi Mittal.

So they can certainly afford him but can you seriously imagine the cultured skills of the Portuguese playmaker blooming on the hurly burly stage of the Championship?

It´s akin to showing up at a baseball bat fight armed a Stradivarius violin. Having said that the Loftus Road outfit are starting to make a tilt at the play-offs so there remains an outside chance that Figo could indeed be joining a Premier League side.

And if they do reach the promised land just imagine the comings and goings in west London with the …

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They´ve lost EVERY away league match since Christmas, so who I ask, could have it on their mind to back Newcastle to win at Birmingham tonight?

Somebody must because Bodog currently quote Kevin Keegan´s useless mob at around odds of 11/4 to claim victory at St Andrews. Talk about chucking your dough down the drain!

"We can only affect what is coming," says Keegan philosophically in the lead up to the game.

Well Kev, only when your side starts to show some serious grit and determination have you got a prayer of affecting anything. Tonight´s match will be a real slug and it´s hard to see how the Toon Army will outmuscle one of the most physical sides in the country.

Hopefully Keegan will …

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What a blistering performance from Denman to land the Gold Cup in the most emphatic fashion from defending champ Kauto Star.

"We came up with a plan to break Kauto´s heart," said a chuffed Harry Findlay melodramatically in the winners´ enclosure after the race.

The proud co-owner, who loves a punt, was referring to Denman´s bold front running strategy that seemed to work a treat because by the time he straightened for the finish his stablemate was a good seven lengths back with nothing left in the tank to close the gap up the hill.

It was a frighteningly fierce pace in such tacky ground and Kauto just couldn´t handle it. It capped an astonishing race for trainer …

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