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They do say that comedians are often crying inside, but what about being part time shrinks and marriage guidance counsellors? Well it seems that they are that too. Or ratherl British-Iranian funny man (and also the token ethnic Arabic typecast actor in Hollywood) Omid Djalili, is.

How so, we cry? In the same way that we at Bodog Towers often moonlight as rock stars, sportsmen and big shot entrepreneurs / porn stars? Nay, Omid had a confession about marital disharmony from someone who is considered to be one of the most handsome men on the planet. Don’t get too excited old chisel-face Brad Pitt didn’t confess to needing a little extra help from the blue diamond pill, he ‘fessed up about …

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Eddie Murphy’s a funny one. We still can’t get over the fact that he got Scary Spice Mel B up shit creek without a paddle. That’s tantamount to watching your parents at it. Anyway he did the dirty and then wiped it and his hands of the whole affair - wanting nothing to do with Mel. (He probably took off the beer goggles). Mel, we can understand but the baby? OK us guys aren’t normally into babies and stuff but sometimes (usually if it’s a boy and it belongs to us) we might show an interest in it.

But Eddie’s having none of it because he thinks Mel tricked him into having the baby. Not that we condone a kid …

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 Possibly the biggest and definitely the most anticipated race in living memory. All along it was shaping up to be a titanic battle between the two heirs apparent to the great Arkle’s crown. All season the talk was all about just who would win the Totesport Cheltenham Gold Cup 2008.

The choice between the reigning champion and Gold Cup 2007 hero, Kauto Star, and the rising challenger, Denman, divided the punting public in two and surely everyone every punter worth his salt put his money where his mouth is and sided with one of the two super-chasers.

What’s more it was virtually unprecedented that one trainer, Paul Nicholls, was able to send out two horses of such high quality in a race …

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Tilt. Most poker players, at one level or another, even though they don’t like to admit it, go on tilt to some degree. It’s a huge part of what makes the game fascinating. It happens in cash games but the players with a modicum of self knowledge walk away and come back another day. Tournaments don’t allow that luxury. A played can be hit with a tidal wave of bad luck and he or she has to sit there trying to breathe in a measured manner, resisting the urge to bellow “Mayday, Mayday!”

Day 3 of the EPT Warsaw saw Ireland’s Andy Black withstand outrageous storms of bad luck at the Hyatt Regency Casino. After he saw his pocket aces drown …

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The big four may have all been humbled in the FA Cup but there is consolation for Man Utd, Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool – all of ‘em are in the quarter-finals of the Champions League. It may be Europe’s leading club competition, but there isn’t room for much of the rest of the continent to gatecrash the Premier League party – if you ain’t an English team, you ain’t getting in.

It could all fall flat, of course, for there are still matches left to play before we can start crowing about being the No.1 nation in Europe, but at the moment you’d have to say it’s all looking rosy for our teams.

Who’s left in who’s actually any good? Schalke? Fenerbahce? …

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Ali versus Frazer, Clash of the Titans, Battle of the Century (until the next one), McCartney against Mills… that´s how we are billing Friday´s Totesport Gold Cup collision between Kauto Star and Denman.

Kauto (pronounced Korto) - the sublime Gold Cup champ and the unbeaten and seemingly invincible Denman - duke it out for the Festival´s ultimate prize.

The two stablemates race against each other for the first time and it´s virtually impossible to get a cigarette paper between the pair of them… it truly will be an "I was there occasion…" Except I won´t be.

Friday at Prestbury Park sees nine races in all with Nicky Henderson’s Chomba Womba our strongest fancy in the first …

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Master Minded´s brilliant effort to land the Queen Mother Champion Chase was just one highlight of a glorious 10-race card at Cheltenham on Thursday. The Paul Nicholls-trained five-year-old beat 2007 winner Voy Por Ustedes by 19 lengths.

The Ladbrokes World Hurdle was claimed by the much fancied Inglis Drever - beating off the challenge of Kasbah Bliss by a length. The Howard Johnson-trained horse became the first three-time winner of the race.

The Ryanair Chase was won by David Pipe’s Our Vic. Jockey Timmy Murphy rode from the front to land the race by an impressive by five lengths.

Champion jockey Tony McCoy won the Royal & SunAlliance Chase aboard Albertas Run.

Finger Onthe Pulse got the better of The Queen’s Barbers …

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