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Paris Hilton as we all know isn’t the sharpest tool in the box. She might have genetically picked up some business savvy but independent thought tends not to be Paris’s forte. To demonstrate this let’s take her choice of man. Currently she is bumping uglies with the chubby worse-looking Madden brother from ‘rock’ band Good Charlotte. Why? We ask ourselves. Well because Nicole Richie has one so in the quest for righteousness and one-upwomanship Paris has to follow suit.

Even when Nic and the thinner better looking of the Madden boys (we forget his name - he’s not important in this equation) had a sprogg it made the heiress get broody enough to want one too. Yes, it bears the hallmark …

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Are Liverpool a one-man team? Anyone who’s seen Steven Gerrard razzing around like a hyperactive kid, flashing 30-yarders into the top corner and rescuing Champions League and FA Cup finals when all has seemed lost would say yes, without a moment’s hesitation.

But the question now is – if Liverpool are a one-man show, then who’s the man? It’s not Stevie G anymore, that’s for sure. There’s a new kid thrilling the Kop. And that man is Fernando Torres.

Just as Liverpool’s season seemed to be slipping away from under them, Torres has dragged the Reds kicking and screaming and back into contention for fourth place in the league. Just as Everton appeared to be inching away from them in the Premier …

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We can’t believe our ears Danny Cipriani dropped from Saturday’s RBS Six Nations England - Scotland clash at Murrayfield?! It’s normal to start the celebrations after having something to celebrate but we can only wonder what he was up to falling out of a nightclub in the early hours!

All that we are being told is that he has been removed from the lineup after displaying "inappropriate behaviour." So what was he doing? Mind you if he was spotted with Chantelle Houghton or some other such z-list reality TV star then say no more. Danny being what we lads would call ‘alright looking’ it’s quite possible that he was accosted by some teenage slappers or the like. And being a hormonal …

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You’ve all heard that crack about winning a race by a breast, well now there’s another one to add to the list. How about losing a race by a toe? That’s exactly what seems to have happened to Paula Radcliffe. She won’t be running in the London Marathon on April 13 because she has knackered a toe tendon. And with the Beijing Olympics five months away she says she needs to be prepared, plus after dropping out of Athens 2004 she’s playing catch up too.

This could have been her fourth claim on the title with wins in 2002, 2003 and 2005. Her toe trouble happened after altitude training at her base in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The 34 year-old said:

"I love …

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David Beckham must be feeling happier now surely? Now that the big man Fabio Capello has patted him on the back, said "there, there Cinderella you shall go to the ball." The ball in question being England’s friendly against France later this month. Becks is in China on the pre-season tour with LA Galaxy but had to be subbed after his right leg started to twinge during the Shanghai-Hong Kong game.

That’s not the greatest of news since Cap’s assurance does come with a price tag. Becks has prove his fitness during the friendly if he wants to get his 100th cap. Capello’s general manager Franco Baldini will be sent on a reccy to assess Beckham in a friendly against FC …

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This week saw a historical event in poker as Van Nguyen became the first woman to win a WPT event when she outlasted 444 competitors and won the Celebrity Invitational at the Commerce Casino, Los Angeles.

Van is the wife of poker pro Men ‘The Master’ Nguyen and the double act is cutting up the field in 2008. Mr and Mrs Master can add Van’s $100,000 payday (and a $25,500 seat at the WPT World Championship) to Men’s 3rd place at the WPT Tunica, his 10th place at the WPT Borgata and his two Player of the Tournament Awards. Clearly their relationship will not breakdown due to financial reasons.

Men taught his wife to play but the pupil may yet outshine The …

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With such large fields at the Festival are there any trends which can help us to reduce our punting options to more manageable proportions?

One of the most significant statistics we have found over the years is to be found in the handicap chases. Nearly 90% of these races have been won by horses carrying less than 11st.

Individual races show particular trends. For example in the Supreme Novices Hurdle, which kicks off the Festival on Tuesday, only five favourites have been successful in the last 20 years. Five and six year olds have the best record. The wonderfully consistent and improving Pigeon Island from the local stable of Nigel Twiston-Davies is suggested as the selection.

In the Champion Hurdle the message …

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When former Liverpool legend Kevin Keegan strutted his stuff as a player in front of the Kop his nickname was Mighty Mouse.

Some 30 years later as he brings his club Newcastle United back to Anfield he cuts anything but an invincible looking figure with his side sliding towards what seems like inevitable relegation.

Might Mug more like.

It´s an agonising spectacle to witness. Anyone with a romantic bone in their body would have felt a tinge of excitement as the most cavalier coach in Premiership history returned to the club he came within a whisker of winning the league with.

"I´m here on unfinished business," King Kev said on his return to St James´s and we all knew what he meant.

It …

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